So excited to have been a part of this podcast:
Featured topics include:
- The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn’t (2:25)
- The effects of gaslighting on a victim’s mental health (4:20)
- Dr. Kelley addresses the question, “Is lying gaslighting?” (10:14)
- You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing (20:08)
- The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting (21:39)
- What self-care looks like during the healing process (43:17)
- Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused (59:40)
So excited to be invited onto the Loving without Boundaries Podcast! Here is some info about the epsiode from the Podcast:
Hello, Loving Without Boundaries (LWB) community! As always, I am sending good energy and vibes of hope and love to our amazing community. I believe that sharing inspirational stories of hope, inclusion, and healthy lifestyles are more important than ever. If you are looking for ways to connect with loved ones you may be separated from, check out this blog post for resources and ideas. On to another inspiring story…
I am truly honored and thrilled to share my latest podcast interview that I released with Dr. Amelia Kelley, a colleague and dear friend at this point. Her publicist reached out to me last year upon the release of Amelia’s book that she co-authored, and I was very interested in meeting her. It was such a pleasure to get to know her and learn more about her approach to therapy and trauma during our initual interview. In fact, we hit it off so well that, since then we have collaborated on several Facebook Live events that will, themselves, become future podcast episodes on such topics such as ADHD and gaslighting. Stay tuned! Amelia is incredibly engaging, wicked smart / knowledgeable, and highly articulate. I am so delighted to share her work with you all via our podcasts. Dr. Amelia! Thank you for your generosity, your huge heart of gold, and all of the fine work that you are continually putting out there in support of all types of healthy relationships (including our Loving Without Boundaries community). I appreciate you, and admire you and your work! I’m a huge fan, my friend!
How to Differentiate the Overlapping Behaviors of ADHD and Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissist Apocalypse Podcast
January 21, 2022
Brandon talks with Dr. Amelia Kelley (trauma-informed therapist and author) about the overlapping behaviors of ADHD and Narcissism and how to recognize where Narcissism begins. In this episode they discuss issues with control, intentions, can’t vs. won’t, doing the work, comorbidity, weaponizing mental health issues and much more.
What is Repeat Traumatization?
High Heels and Heartache podcast
February 22, 2019
On this episode of High Heels and Heartache I chat with Dr. Amelia Kelley, owner and supervisor of Kelley Counseling & Wellness, about repeat traumatization. We discuss what happens when a person experiences more than one trauma in their life, how trauma changes the brain, and the role nature vs. nurture has in repeat trauma. Dr. Kelley also teaches us about synaptic pruning! You can check out the podcast here on High Heels and Heart Ache.
How Does Trauma Affect Your Body?
High Heels and Heartache podcast
October 22, 2018
Dr. Amelia Kelley sits down to chat about how trauma affects the body and strategies that you can use to reduce that trauma. Dr. Kelley is an expert in using adjunctive therapies along with cognitive therapy to help those who have experienced trauma. Dr. Kelley defines trauma and explains how trauma is stored in the body. She describes how practices like reiki, therapeutic touch, qigong, yoga, therapeutic massage, and meditation (which are all offered at her practice, Kelley Counseling and Wellness) in conjunction with traditional therapy help to reduce trauma’s impact on the body. Dr. Kelley even walks us through a mindfulness meditation on High Heals and Heart Ache.
For HSPs, the emotional toll of a breakup can feel like riding a vicious wave where the nervous system cannot “right” itself. Here’s how to not drown.
Most people can agree: Breakups are hard, especially if you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP). The process of ending a relationship, even for the right reasons, can feel impossibly difficult. Research has found this to be true, too. Among divorced couples in Britain, one study foundthat the stress leading up to a breakup — and the feelings immediately following — are subjectively similar. The researchers also found that mental health, and life satisfaction, improved significantly within the first year after the breakup.
While there is an end to the pain after a breakup, a year may feel like an eternity, especially if you are a highly sensitive person (HSP), which accounts for nearly 30 percent of the human population. HSPs are already more sensitive to pain than most, but the growing pains after a breakup can completely overwhelm one’s sensitive nervous system. The intensity is so strong that it feels like they will never recover.
You may have been told it’s all in your head. But what if HSPs really do feel pain more intensely?
I remember the look on my dentist’s face when I asked for yet another round of Novocain as he dug into my tooth, performing a long overdue root canal (thank you, COVID-19 lockdown!). He remarked that most people he treated never asked for the amount I needed.
He was probably right — because most people he treated, around 70 percent of the population, are not highly sensitive people (HSPs). I, on the other hand, am part of the nearly 30 percent who do feel pain more intensely. This is likely due to the fact that we sensitive people feel things more deeply and extensively than non-HSPs. (In fact, our brains are still busy processing even when we’re resting!)
But what exactly does it mean to have a poor pain tolerance? What it does not mean is that someone cannot “handle” pain. Quite the contrary: When it comes to HSPs, many of us have been trained to “deal” with our pain by grinning and bearing it.
Your attachment style helps determine how healthy (and happy) your relationships are — and there’s a lot you can do to change it.
When exploring what brings people joy, healthy relationships are at the top of the list. And, for highly sensitive people (HSPs), the quality of their relationships is even more crucial — because they are more deeply affected by the people around them.
Feeling “secure,” meaning each person is accessible, consistent, safe and emotionally responsive, is the basis of a healthy relationship. This is what psychologists call having a secure attachment style, and it’s just one of several attachment styles people can have. That means that understanding your attachment style — whether it is “secure” or not — is essential to your happiness as a highly sensitive person.
Nearly 1 in 3 people are wired to soak up emotions. Here’s what to do when it goes wrong.
One of the remarkable parts of being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is their profound ability to experience empathy. And since HSPs make up nearly 30 percent of the population, that means there are a lot of empathetic people out there.
When the neural activity of HSPs was examined as they viewed images of human emotions ranging from positive, negative, and neutral facial expressions, researchers found heightened brain activity in HSPs across all emotional conditions, whether the image was of a stranger or someone they knew. The activated brain areas were associated with awareness and attention, action planning, and empathy.
Because HSPs are emotional sponges and empaths by nature, they often are also highly compassionate. Interestingly, though, you can experience one without the other, because empathy and compassion are uniquely different.
As an HSP, it can be difficult to turn off the desire to help — but here’s why doing so will help you thrive at your job, not just survive.
For highly sensitive people (HSPs), it can be a major undertaking to choose a career path. HSPs often desire to do work wherein they are of service to others — to follow their passion and purpose — while also not becoming overstimulated.
Working in a “helping”/caring field — such as in the medical or psychology field — can be highly rewarding, especially to HSPs who tend to be drawn to these professions. However, it can also be a struggle, as it can be taxing to their emotional and physical health.
In my own work as a mental health therapist, I have had to change and adjust how I work — and where I work — on more than one occasion. For me, working in inconsistent environments where I did not know what to predict (such as conducting a therapy session on the front porch of a home because my teen client was on house arrest) was entirely too much for my overstimulated nervous system to cope with long-term.
An interview with Brett Lovett
From the interview:
When people first get married, they are usually deeply in love and extremely excited to be together. But sometimes, over time, that passion and excitement begins to fade. This has been particularly true after the pandemic, when many marriages went through great upheavals. What can a couple do to rekindle the love and excitement that they used to have when they were first together?
In this interview series, called “Falling In Love Again With Your Spouse; 5 Things You Need To Rekindle Love In A Marriage That Has Gone Cold,” we are talking to relationship professionals, therapists, psychologists, and coaches to share stories and insights from their experience.
As a part of this series I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Amelia Kelley.
Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist and co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship as well as a sought-after relationship expert featured in various podcasts and publications. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor. She is a presenter and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on Highly Sensitive Persons, trauma, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.
Relationship Advice Series: Meet Dr. Amelia Kelley, Relationship Expert
The Truly Charming
February 7, 2022
Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, trainer and coach with over 15 years of experience. The following is the third interview of our Relationship Advice Series, featuring Dr. Kelley. The article explores topics such as gaslighting, what happens when your relationship becomes toxic, how to establish a healthy relationship despite mental illness, when to seek out couples counseling and how to rekindle the spark in your relationship.
The ADHD Effect on Relationships
February 22, 2018
Trying to date and find a meaningful relationship can pose challenges to most any person who has ever tried. But when these challenges are coupled with a diagnosis of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, otherwise known as ADHD, there can be a new set of hurdles to overcome in order to effectively date and maintain healthy relationships. The upside however is that if the person who has ADHD or their partner knows about these challenges they can be worked through and in some cases the benefits of ADHD on relationships can be discovered.
In What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship
“Experiencing emotional or physical abuse is so isolating, and this book reads like a trusted friend. For people who are trying to figure out whether what they are experiencing is normal or toxic, to those who have managed to extricate themselves from the clutches of abuse – this is a power resource.”
-Mario Guido, Executive Editor of ScaryMommy.com
Whether you are a survivor of domestic violence, or in a relationship wrought with intimidation, gaslighting or control of any kind, it’s time to regain the part of yourself that you have lost and find support to live your true authentic life. In What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship written by co-authors Dr. Amelia Kelley and survivor Kendall Ann Combs, the journey of Ms. Combs’ tragic relationship experience along with Dr. Kelley’s trauma-informed, psychotherapist techniques and real strategies to support women and men who have experienced toxic, unhealthy, abusive relationships. Dr. Kelley’s whole health approach to healing and self-care is critical for those suffering from violence and other forms of relationship abuse. She shares eye-opening anecdotes, cutting-edge research, facts, and intimate wisdom in this much needed, gripping guide.
In this book, divorce attorney James Hart, principal attorney at The Hart Law Firm in Cary, North Carolina, outlines the steps you should take to protect yourself if you are facing a legal separation or divorce. Topics covered include deciding whether or not you should move forward with a legal separation, what a legal separation means, various tools and mechanisms to help you resolve your case, a description of the legal process, and how you should go about finding and hiring a divorce lawyer. With collaborations by Dr. Amelia Kelley, noted marriage counselor and family therapist, this book is an invaluable resource for anyone considering a legal separation or divorce.