Interview with Teen Vogue Magazine on love bombing

I was interviewed by Teen Vogue as a trauma-informed therapist and co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship.

Here is an excerpt:

“Love bombing is a manipulation tactic used by one partner in a relationship, generally with the explicit intention of maintaining control of another partner or the relationship as a whole,” says Sahana Prasad, AM, LLMSW, an anti-oppressive sexual trauma therapist who is currently working in refugee resettlement. “Specifically, love bombing is an attempt to influence or control someone through the use of (often disingenuous) attention and affection, and often immediately following acute violence or physical abuse or intimidation.”

According to Dr. Amelia Kelley, Ph.D, a trauma-informed therapist and co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship,love bombing is most often present at the beginning of a relationship, but it can occur any time when someone is trying to “regain affection” from their partner. 

“A healthy example of this would be bringing flowers home after an argument as a gesture of remorse or putting extra effort into changing a character flaw that negatively impacts the relationship,” Kelley says. “The more harmful approach with love bombing is when the gestures are carried out to mend the relationship temporarily, but there is a lack of willingness for actual change. In this case the love bombing becomes part of the cycle of abuse present in most abusive relationships. After an explosion occurs, there is a phase of calm where apologies, excuses or denial of abuse occurs. Following the phase of calm, the love bombing begins with grand gestures and attempts to rekindle adoration for the love bomber. Without these repair methods, the cycle would not persist because there would be nothing positive to keep the relationship afloat.”

Read the full article here: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/love-bombing-what-it-is-and-what-it-isnt

— Dr. Kelley

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