Ways in which a person may recognize he or she is a highly sensitive person
Posted on April 18th, 2022
— Dr. Kelley
5 coping mechanisms for highly sensitive people
Posted on April 18th, 2022
— Dr. Kelley
Latest Book Release by Dr. Kelley
Posted on January 6th, 2022
“Experiencing emotional or physical abuse is so isolating, and this book reads like a trusted friend. For people who are trying to figure out whether what they are experiencing is normal or toxic, to those who have managed to extricate themselves from the clutches of abuse – this is a power resource.”
-Mario Guido, Executive Editor of ScaryMommy.com
Whether you are a survivor of domestic violence, or in a relationship wrought with intimidation, gaslighting or control of any kind, it’s time to regain the part of yourself that you have lost and find support to live your true authentic life. In What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship written by co-authors Dr. Amelia Kelley and survivor Kendall Ann Combs, the journey of Ms. Combs’ tragic relationship experience along with Dr. Kelley’s trauma-informed, psychotherapist techniques and real strategies to support women and men who have experienced toxic, unhealthy, abusive relationships. Dr. Kelley’s whole health approach to healing and self-care is critical for those suffering from violence and other forms of relationship abuse. She shares eye-opening anecdotes, cutting-edge research, facts, and intimate wisdom in this much needed, gripping guide.
— Dr. Kelley
Welcome
Posted on January 2nd, 2022
It is the start of the new year and I have more things on my list to do than I can count, and I have been asked to write my first blog post. Do I want to? Absolutely not. But will I? Yes, because what matters to me is that this blog becomes a safe, accessible and inviting space that is full of knowledge I have learned over my 18-year career as a counselor, while still having a dash of self-deprecating authenticity and humor. When I write I can create a world contained inside my own ideas, but outside the page, nothing is within my control and nothing is perfect.
That is what we are here to learn and journey through together. How to navigate the things that matter most to us, while still remaining balanced and not becoming overwhelmed with everything we cannot control. This can be especially challenging if you have a dynamic way of feeling the world like I do. I identify myself, after countlessly retaking the self-survey, as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). This is not just a casual personality trait that results in preferences about how I like to spend my money, time and focus. Instead it dictates how I experience my every waking moment. In some ways it creates an enriched experience of being alive that non-HSPs will never get to enjoy. While in other ways it can make life and everything it has to offer so overwhelming that I will throw my hands up and declare, “I just can’t”.
Saying “no” and holding your boundaries offers more of the moments when you can declare “I just can”. Whether you are a parent navigating the many managerial roles that life entails, a business owner, a student, a deep feeler, a survivor, someone enduring trauma and trying to come out the other side or one of the other many identities we pass through in this life, I got you. Every bit of advice, support, or anecdotes will come directly from either my own lived experience or from some of the thousands of clients I have been fortunate enough to work with in my career. I welcome any and all questions, I love open dialogue and if there is something you want to hear more about, by all means contact me and ask, and if I do not know the answer… I will tell you. The one thing I am not aiming for on this blog is perfection. In fact I loathe the word. Instead I will leave you with these goals for us to aim for together.
- Failing regularly – because then you know you are attempting hard things.
- Expressing often – because then you know you are being as close to your authentic self as possible.
- Remaining curious – because without curiosity we are left with only the inner critic.
- Learn the value of forgiveness – of ourselves, of others and of life when it goes off track from our anticipated plans.
Again I want to thank you for taking this moment with me. I like to champion for time as being one of the most important boundaries we have to offer ourselves. I am honored that you took a moment of yourtime to read my blog and I hope it becomes a comforting space that you choose to return.
May you be happy, may you be health and may you feel at peace.
— Dr. Kelley
What I Wish I Knew
Posted on December 11th, 2021
Whether you are a survivor of domestic violence, or in a relationship wrought with intimidation, gaslighting or control of any kind, it’s time to regain the part of yourself that you may have lost and find your support network to regain living your true authentic life. In What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship written by co-author Dr. Amelia Kelley and survivor Kendall Ann Combs, the authors use the journey of Ms. Combs’ tragic relationship experience along with Dr. Kelley’s trauma-informed, psychotherapist techniques and real strategies to support women and men who have experienced toxic, unhealthy, abusive relationships. Dr. Kelley’s whole health approach to healing and self-care is critical for those suffering from violence and other forms of relationship abuse. She shares eye-opening anecdotes, cutting-edge research, facts, and intimate wisdom in this much needed, gripping guide.
The statistics of physical abuse in relationships are still astounding as 1 in 3 women have been abused by an intimate partner in their lifetime according to the United States Center for Disease Control and Prevention. However, emotional abuse is almost equal for both genders, with close to half of both having experienced at least one form of psychological aggression by an intimate partner (which can include gaslighting, coercive control, being insulted, humiliated, or acted upon in a dangerous manner). CDC/2018* In addition, COVID 19 exacerbated alarming statistics regarding domestic violence and emotional abuse in the U.S. (NIH**).
What I Wish I Knew is part memoir by Ms. Combs about her former relationship, and part therapy and advice by Dr. Kelley who has worked with abuse survivors for over fifteen years. Throughout her career, Dr. Kelley has focused her research and training on serving those recovering from trauma, resulting in attachment and relationship issues. The book provides resources for those trying to break the cycle of abuse as well as recognize when your relationship is unhealthy and maybe even dangerous. Additionally,What I Wish I Knewcan serve as a resource for those in helping professions, or for loved ones supporting someone in an abusive relationship.
In the new age of #MeToo and Time’s Up, women have become emboldened to speak up about what they really want in consensual relationships. Dr. Kelley gives advice on how to stop people pleasing and let go of self-doubt to finally find the fulfilling relationship you desire and deserve no matter where you are in your life journey – Gen Z, Millennial, Gen Xer, or Boomer.
— Dr. Kelley
What is Repeat Traumatization?
Posted on February 22nd, 2019
On this episode of High Heels and Heartache I chat with Dr. Amelia Kelley, owner and supervisor of Kelley Counseling & Wellness, about repeat traumatization. We discuss what happens when a person experiences more than one trauma in their life, how trauma changes the brain, and the role nature vs. nurture has in repeat trauma. Dr. Kelley also teaches us about synaptic pruning! You can check out the podcast here on High Heels and Heart Ache.
— Dr. Kelley
Next Steps
Posted on February 10th, 2019
In this book, divorce attorney James Hart, principal attorney at The Hart Law Firm in Cary, North Carolina, outlines the steps you should take to protect yourself if you are facing a legal separation or divorce. Topics covered include deciding whether or not you should move forward with a legal separation, what a legal separation means, various tools and mechanisms to help you resolve your case, a description of the legal process, and how you should go about finding and hiring a divorce lawyer. With collaborations by Dr. Amelia Kelley, noted marriage counselor and family therapist, this book is an invaluable resource for anyone considering a legal separation or divorce.
— Dr. Kelley
How Does Trauma Affect Your Body?
Posted on October 22nd, 2018
Dr. Amelia Kelley sits down to chat about how trauma affects the body and strategies that you can use to reduce that trauma. Dr. Kelley is an expert in using adjunctive therapies along with cognitive therapy to help those who have experienced trauma. Dr. Kelley defines trauma and explains how trauma is stored in the body. She describes how practices like reiki, therapeutic touch, qigong, yoga, therapeutic massage, and meditation (which are all offered at her practice, Kelley Counseling and Wellness) in conjunction with traditional therapy help to reduce trauma’s impact on the body. Dr. Kelley even walks us through a mindfulness meditation on High Heals and Heart Ache.
— Dr. Kelley
The ADHD Effect on Relationships
Posted on February 22nd, 2018
Trying to date and find a meaningful relationship can pose challenges to most any person who has ever tried. But when these challenges are coupled with a diagnosis of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, otherwise known as ADHD, there can be a new set of hurdles to overcome in order to effectively date and maintain healthy relationships. The upside however is that if the person who has ADHD or their partner knows about these challenges they can be worked through and in some cases the benefits of ADHD on relationships can be discovered.
— Dr. Kelley